A bit of an emotional post today and off my normal Friday schedule but now that I’ve discovered the beauty of writing on my phone, we should be a bit more consistent! Aiming for Thursdays and Sundays starting after the holidays. Merry almost Christmas!
I never imagined giving up breastfeeding would be such a difficult experience. Early on my sister-in-law and I would count down the months until it was time to crack open a big bottle of cab.
Now, as the six month mark approaches I’m finding myself a little sad about it.
There’s nothing stopping me from continuing to breastfeed, or from pumping past the 6 month mark, but I’m at the point where I need to supplement him with solids and formula in order to keep his belly full. I’m producing, but not enough and it’s only a matter of time before he pulls off altogether and begins separating me from food. I didn’t realize how much I loved feeding my son. I love the way he falls asleep in my arms, the snorty sucking noises, the eye contact. I’ve made sure to take a few minutes everyday to enjoy our moments together and I’m glad I did because they seem so far away now.
Feeding Tavish is powerful. I ‘feel’ like a mother in those moments. It’s something that only I can do, something that always brings him back to me when he’s being passed around. Feeding is our intimate time together. The bond is hard to put into words, all I can say is that I need him in those moments just as much as he needs me.
That being said, I’m happy he’s eating well, that he’s happy and healthy. Those are the most important things. I’m excited for the next stage of his development and am slowly readying myself to move on but I am definitely going to miss that warm little body snuggling against mine and the instant instinctual calm we share.