For Mom · Uncategorized

Dismissing Mom Guilt: Wine Time

Is it just me or is there a lot of over-sensitivity about making fun of moms for wanting their wine time?

I have made a dozen or so jokes about how I can’t wait to crack open a bottle, yes it’s a joke that’s well overdone, but it connects us to other mothers more than it does throw up red flags about a potential drinking problem. I recently had the pleasure of enjoying my first glass of wine after a year and a half of being pregnant/breastfeeding. It was the final piece of my pre-baby life that finally came back to me.

No I’m not, nor have I ever been an alcoholic and I’m not negating the fact that alcohol abuse is serious and tragic especially when there are kids involved. But there is no way in hell I’m going to be made to feel guilty for enjoying the occasional glass of wine and laughing about it.

In my research, I’ve found articles arguing that wine companies target moms, that alcohol is becoming a socially acceptable way of coping with the “burdens of motherhood,” or that we’re making light of a serious issue. Some of these are written by former or recovering alcoholics who have dealt with the struggles of alcoholism and though I agree that it is a serious subject, I don’t think there’s any harm in laughing at ourselves when the mothers of the internet list the reasons why mommy drinks.

We’re laughing at the very real challenge of parenthood, uniting in the chaos that is child rearing because we’ve all felt that stress. We’re not laughing at the concept of relying on alcohol to perform our duties as moms. Call it bad taste if you must, but understand that for many of us, humour is the coping mechanism, not the substance.

Humour is just another defence against the universe. – Mel Brooks

I can appreciate the good intentions of the authors, and understand that some had very real struggles with alcoholism, but as a mom who enjoys her vino for the taste rather than the result, and as a free thinker, independent the media’s influence in terms of alcohol, I find these are quickly over-inflated and flawed.

Wine does not make parenting easier. Parenting is a difficult job with or without a drink. Alcohol is not “mommy juice” or liquid courage. For me and many others, it’s a simple pleasure after my kid has gone to bed. My enjoyment of wine does not help me better tolerate my child, nor does it victimize me to the will of the alcohol industry. (Many of those wines marketed to moms suck anyway). Mommy marketing for wine is about as potent in its influence to alcoholism as donut beer is to promoting obesity.

Internet memes paint wine loving mothers to be the sassy ladies who deal with their kids through alcohol fuelled sarcasm. Some of them are cringe-worthy, I admit, but they’re good natured and take the edge off of our situations. We can laugh at ourselves because we’ve all been pushed in one way or another by our kids. Resorting to alcohol is a very real circumstance but humour lightens the mood, it doesn’t condone alcoholism, it unites mothers in solidarity about the daily stresses.

 

Cheers.

Further reading:

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/28/stop_calling_alcohol_mommyjuice_how_liquor_companies_target_women/

http://vinepair.com/articles/stop-telling-moms-they-cant-drink-responsibly/

http://www.winemag.com/2016/10/27/moms-who-work-wine-to-five/

http://www.scarymommy.com/wine-motherhood/

 

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